Episode 97

Clunch Parsons took a deep breath...'Yaxley ! It's Mr.Thompson, in the chapel, with the candlestick !!' Farcett stared at him, believing that Clunch was in the grip of some kind of Cluedo induced madness. The heads of many visitors to Ealham Cathedral craned round to see what all the fuss was about. At the far end of the cathedral, the graduates continued to file past the lectern to collect their hard-earned degrees from the Bishop of Ealham. 'Clunch' hissed Yaxley, 'Tell me slowly and carefully what has happened'.

 

Clunch leaned forward and spoke into Farcett's ear. In front of them, the Worthington's also waited to see what Clunch had to say. 'I went into the Peace Chapel a minute ago to get some more hymnbooks and I saw Mr.Morgan in there. He was practising the speech he's got to make later. Just kept wandering around repeating something about 'straying from the path of righteousness' and giving a funny look into this mirror. Anyway, Hummer came in to find me and saw the Welsh Windbag standing there...' He realised Fiona was there and quickly nodded to her and mumbled, 'err err no offence meant, Fiona'. Yaxley grabbed Clunch's sleeve. 'What's going on?'

 

Suddenly getting louder, Clunch shouted, 'Hummer got hold of Cedric Morgan by the neck and he's gorn to smash his bloody skull to bits with a candlestick if we don't get in there quick !' On the word 'smash', Yaxley was up out of his pew heading towards the Peace Chapel. As he'd been in there the previous day with Anne Worthington, he was able to lead the way. In his wake followed; Fiona, Clunch, Anne, John and Darren Worthington. As they scuttled round the back of the centre aisle towards the corridor they passed Graham Trent who was leaning against a wall taking notes. He saw the Barnham contingent heading, conga-like, in the direction of the Chapel and quickly followed, sensing that something was afoot.

 

Thirty seconds later they crashed in through the Chapel door and all stood transfixed as they registered the tableau before them. Hummer had taken the cords from half a dozen chorister's gowns and had tied Morgan's wrists and ankles to a chair. Hummer stood over him, obviously very distressed. He was brandishing a gold candlestick, which he had taken from the small altar of the most intimate and atmospheric of chapels in the historic building. Yaxley, realising this was serious, quickly turned around to lock the door. The huge key turned with a clunk and they waited for Hummer Thompson to speak.

 

He kept the Candlestick above his head like a javelin thrower about release his payload and turned his tear-streaked face to the ensemble. 'The bugger ! He knew my dad wanted that land to go to the village. Thought he'd make some dirty money out of it...I heard about it this morning. Turns out he started his fiddling nearly twenty year agoo !' Yaxley stepped forward and motioned to the others to sit down. Hesitantly, they found places on the pews as Hummer looked on, confused. He had fully expected to be manhandled to the ground and wasn't expecting an audience. Yaxley sat down nearest to Hummer and Morgan, only a short leap away. Instead of trying to surprise Hummer, he said. 'We're all here in the peace chapel and I know what this place is like. I was here with Anne only yesterday'. He turned to Mrs.Worthington and smiled. As she returned the smile, John Worthington scowled and pulled at her arm, which she shrugged aside impatiently. 'Yes' continued Yaxley, 'I think we should all say a small prayer for a few things. For the soul of Reg Dixon, who you all knew. For Hummer's dad and the love he had for the village of Barnham. And lastly' and he said this glaring at Morgan..'for all the people in the world who have greed in their hearts.'

 

As Hummer made the mistake of actually closing his eyes whilst praying, Yaxley bound forward and snatched the candlestick from Hummer, who stood rooted to the spot with his arm aloft like a startled Statue of Liberty. 'Nice one Farcett ! Nice one' shouted Trent from his position at the back..'Now lock the silly old bugger up..He can't threaten a Member of Parliament like that !' Yaxley turned sharply, clutching the candlestick and barked at Trent, 'If you don't shut your mouth, you'll get it'. Farcett then put his arm around Hummer and gently sat the old man down, leaving Morgan open mouthed in his chair. 'What about me ? Isn't someone going to let me go?' Fiona sighed and went forward to untie her father, commenting that she agreed with Yaxley that he deserved to have his brains bashed in.

 

After Morgan had been released and he had done a fair bit of rubbing his ankles and wrists and had threatened to sue Hummer for everything he'd got (which was rich seeing as how he had swindled a good proportion of his dads estate already), Yaxley sat down in the seat Morgan had been tied to. He took in the scene and realised that it was strangely Christiesque. His chair was in the centre of the chapel and scattered around him on pews, chairs and in the case of Trent, leaning against a wall, were all the main players in the Reg Dixon case; Clunch Parsons, Hummer Thompson, Graham Trent, John Worthington, Anne Worthington, Darren Worthington, Cedric Morgan and Fiona Morgan.

 

Yaxley placed the candlestick back in its position on the altar and turned to face his audience. Hummer had his head bent forward and appeared to be repenting for his attack on Morgan.

 

Farcett coughed and said....'Let me take you back to the beginning.....'