Farcett, Worthington and Stumpsfield, sounding remarkably like a seventies supergroup, were still gathered around the computer in Ealham Police station. Yaxley Farcett was perched on a chair in front of the machine and the other two men were cradling mugs of tea on their laps at a safe distance, not entirely sure what the young Drainage Inspector was up to. Farcett clicked on the print icon and a sheet of A4 chugged slowly out of a printer that had been placed on the floor. Farcett snatched up the paper and gave Sergeant Stumpsfield, the professional, and Brian Worthington, his loyal assistant, the news. 'Gentlemen' he said, his face splitting asunder in a huge beam, 'We have....A Clue !!' Yaxley waited for a reaction. He didn't get one. 
Brandishing the sheet of paper once more, inna Neville Chamberlain stylee, he continued 'The murderer of Reginald Dixon of Chesnut Farm, Barnham was either a farm worker or someone who spends a lot of time in an office'. Stumpsfield grunted and said 'And that's a clue is it ? That narrows it down to about fifty per cent of all the males between sixteen and sixty in East Anglia'. Yaxley stared at Stumpfield from over the top of his sheet of paper, refusing to let an old cynic ruin his newscast. "That's not all. I know it has no relevance to the Dixon murder, but the lab has discovered that John Worthington's pigs were full of opium last night when they chased Clive Lancaster through the village". Brian sat forward in his seat with a jerk, hot tea splashing over the rim of the mug onto his trousers. 'Opium !!' he shouted, 'How in the bloody hell did they manage to 
get hold of that stuff ?' Yaxley gave a shrug of the shoulders and shook his head, 'Dunno mate. I thought you might be able to tell me. I thought they ate swill myself'. Brian sat quietly for a moment and stared out of the window as the Ealham shopping traffic droned by outside. Sergeant Stumpsfield looked closely at Farcett and said 'And that's from Dr. Coggles in Cambridge eh ? He's never been known to make a mistake'. Farcett passed the sheet of paper to Stumpsfield. 'See for yourself. It's all there in black and white'. Well, it wasn't actually black and white. 'FaztKomm' had set the PC incorrectly and the page was full of purple and red characters in a type known as 'corsiva'. However, as Simon Tweedy, FaztKomm's installer, had said as he had fled out of the door on the day he fitted the equipment, 'It's good enough for Government work'.
get hold of that stuff ?' Yaxley gave a shrug of the shoulders and shook his head, 'Dunno mate. I thought you might be able to tell me. I thought they ate swill myself'. Brian sat quietly for a moment and stared out of the window as the Ealham shopping traffic droned by outside. Sergeant Stumpsfield looked closely at Farcett and said 'And that's from Dr. Coggles in Cambridge eh ? He's never been known to make a mistake'. Farcett passed the sheet of paper to Stumpsfield. 'See for yourself. It's all there in black and white'. Well, it wasn't actually black and white. 'FaztKomm' had set the PC incorrectly and the page was full of purple and red characters in a type known as 'corsiva'. However, as Simon Tweedy, FaztKomm's installer, had said as he had fled out of the door on the day he fitted the equipment, 'It's good enough for Government work'. Yaxley Farcett took the Lab results back from Sergeant Stumpsfield and looked curiously across at Brian, who was still gazing out of the window. 'You alright there Bri ?' he asked. Worthington seemed to suddenly realise he was being addressed and replied, 'Oh ah yeah yeah. I'm ok. Just thinking, thas' all'. Farcett turned to Stumpsfield and produced his Clint Eastwood voice again as he wanted a favour from the local man. 'Stumpy....Err Is it ok if I call you Stumpy ? I need two things. One- I want to borrow your patrol car until I can get mine functional again, and Two- I want you 
to find the owner of a Fiat 'Lasagne'. No registration number. Colour: Bright Yellow. Driver: Female. Can you do that Stumpy ?'
to find the owner of a Fiat 'Lasagne'. No registration number. Colour: Bright Yellow. Driver: Female. Can you do that Stumpy ?' Stumpsfield, who responded well to authority, seemed to be warming to the determination of the young Drainage Inspector. He gave a deep nod of affirmation and said, 'Consider me to be already looking, Inspector Farcett. I shall inform you telephonically when I have discovered the identity of the driver' Farcett smiled and gave Stumpsfield a small mock salute before turning to Brian Worthington. 'Get up Brian. I'm not sure why we're doing this , but...take me to the pig sty'.
